EARLY ADULTHOOD

Adulthood is a general term which covers a period of 21 years onwards. Early adulthood is a period that generally ranges from 18 to 45 years onwards. We would discuss the various characteristics of early adulthood period. Following this we would discuss the physical development than takes place during early adulthood years. Both, biologically and physiologically an individual is at the peak of development. We would discuss the wide variety of physical changes that occurs in early adulthood. These changes are in weight and height, eyes, muscular strength, teeth, heart, lungs, skin etc. Health is at its optimal during early adulthood years. There are direct and indirect influences on health. The direct influences are diet exercise, smoking, alcohol and stress. Indirect influences are diet exercises, smoking, alcohol and stress. Indirect influences on health are socio-economic factors, education, gender, material status etc. Following this we would discuss cognitive development during early adulthood. We would also examine the theoretical approaches concerning adult thought. Among the theoretical approaches we would examine the views of Piaget, Warner Shaie and Robert Sternberg. Many personality changes occur during early adulthood. We would discuss the growth trends in adjustment. According to White (19750 there are Five growth trends these are stabilization of Ego identity, Freeing of personal relationship, Deepening of interests, Humanising of values, and Expansion of caring. Adulthood is a period of physical as well as emotional and intellectual maturity. We would define the concept of adult maturity and discuss the Allport’s seven dimension of maturity. Adulthood is also a period of dating, falling in love and getting married. We would discuss these processes as they take place in early adulthood. We would also examine sex differences in marriage in early adulthood and the personality factors in marital adjustment. Following this we would define love and discuss the theories of Passionate love and the Triangular model of love. Today many alternatives to traditional marriages are available. Some of the alternative to traditional marriage that we would discuss is single adulthood, contract marriage, community living, group marriage and swinging. Related to marriage are two important topics which we would discuss in the form of short notes. These are divorce and cohabitation. We would end his chapter by discussing many important topics in the form of short notes some of these topics are developmental task of young adulthood, sexually in young adulthood, parenthood and new methods of becoming a parent. We would also discuss the issue of remaining childless, reconstituted family and the issue of single parent family. Working mothers, face many hardship and difficulties and they have to make man adjustments. We would discuss about working mothers and their life style. Towards the end, we would discuss occupational development during young adulthood. Adulthood is a general term which covers a period of 21 years owners. It is a period which has been subdivided into early, middle and late adulthood. The term adult comes from the Latin verb “adulhs” which means “to grow to maturity” or “to grow to full size and strength”. Adulthood is generally divided into three different stages.

Early Adulthood (Eighteen to 45 years) Middle Adulthood (45 to 65 years) Late Adulthood (65 years to death)

EARLY (YOUNG) ADULTHOOD

Characteristics of Early Adulthood

Following are important characteristics of early adulthood. Early adulthood is a period of adjustment to new patterns of life and new social expectations. People enter into marital relationship, job etc. Early adulthood is a “Setting down age”. During this period of “Carefree days” are over. Settle down involves finding economic stability and a stable marriage partner. Early adulthood is a “Reproductive age” . Most individual, are for women in 23-29 years. Majority of them marry and conceive during this period. Early adulthood a period of change of values. Many values acquired during childhood and adolescence change during adulthood. Many core values become consolidated. Early adulthood is a stage of individualism and creativity. Adults like to maintain their individuality; they are not innocent conformist as children or blind followers of certain practices as they did during adolescence. Adults spend a considerable amount of their time in the pursuit of intellectual and creative tasks. Early adulthood involves certain developmental tasks some of which are as follows:

  • Selecting a mate
  • Leaving to live with a marriage partner
  • Starting a family
  • Managing a home
  • Getting started in an occupation
  • Taking on civic responsibility

During the early adulthood (the twenties and early thirties) the individual is at the peak of life biologically and physiologically. Individuals reach their peak of physical well-being during the years of early adulthood. This period is notable for being time of one’s greatest strength and good health. Physical maturity in height and weight has been completed, and growth has ceased several years before early adulthood beings. Yet many changes occur in physical appearance and in the body’s psychology over this period of time.

Weight and Height

The effects of the ageing process can be seen beginning in early adulthood. One of the most prominent and visible signs of this process is the height and weight changes that occur between eighteen and forty-five. Weight changes are more noticeable and significant than height changes during this period. The average weight of Men between eighteen and seventy-four years is 172 pounds (Abraham, 1979). Between eighteen and twenty four years, and average weight of men increases from 165 pounds to 178 pound between thirty-five and forty four years. The average weight of women between eighteen and seventy four years is 143 pounds (Abraham, 1979). This figure is twenty-nine pounds less than that for men at the same age. Average weights for adult females show gains from 132 pounds between eighteen and twenty-four to 149 pounds between thirty-five and forty four years. Differences in this general pattern depend on the race of individuals. Black men as compared to white men weigh more on the average and show greater gains in weight during early adulthood. Likewise, black women weight considerably more than white women and show greater average weight gains during this period (Abraham, 1979). These differences may be attributed to differences in eating patterns and nutritional status of the two groups of people. One of the principle causes of weight gains in an early adulthood is the age-related increase in fat deposition in the body (Timiars, 1972). The body increasingly stores excess fat under the skin as age increases in early adulthood. This process continues throughout the period. Another contributing factor to weight gains in adulthood may be associated with decreasing levels of physical activity. As individuals tend to become more sedentary in their daily lives through this period, excess fat and calories in the diet are not burned off but become stored in the body. Some slight changes occur in height measurements for adults between eighteen and forty-five. The mean height for men between eighteen and seventy-four years is 69 inches (five feet, nine inches). Men can be expected to decrease an average of one-half inch for each decade of age (Abraham, 1979). Between eighteen and twenty-four years of age, male have an average height of 69.7 inches decreasing to about 69 inches by age thirty-five to forty-four years. Women have an average height of 63.6 inches or 5.4 inches less than men during eighteen to seventy-four years (Abraham, 1979). Height changes for women follow a similar pattern for men. At eighteen to twenty four years, the average height can be expected to be 65.3 inches, decreasing to 64.1 inches at twenty five to thirty-four years and remaining constant at thirty-five to forty-four years. Racial differences are noted also in height changes. While women are only slightly taller than black women by an average of about one-quarter inch. Timiras (1972) explains these slight decreases in height during early adulthood to be due to a setting of the spinal column and to the steady decrease in the density of the long bones of the body (arms and legs) and in the vertebrae of the spinal column.

The Eyes

The ability of the eyes to accommodate begins to change in early adulthood. Accommodation refers to the adjustments made by the eyes for seeing things at different distances, or the ability of the eyes to focus properly and quickly. There is a gradual loss in the quickness of yes to adapt for focusing objects until about the age of forty-five when accommodation is at its lowest (Allen, 1956). Acuity or the sharpness of vision is at its peak for most individuals in the years of early adulthood. Males have better average eyesight than females (Roberts and Rowland, 1978).

Muscular Strength

The peak of an individual’s muscular strength occurs between twenty and thirty years. After this time, there is a continues decline in decline in strength that increases rapidly in the years of old age. Muscle strength of men is contrasted with work rates. Work rate is measured by the power or effort taken to crank a drive sprocket. While muscle strength does not change considerably between twenty and sixty-five, power output decreases after the age of forty and decreases considerably during the middle adulthood years (Shock and Norris, 1970).

The Teeth

Most individual still retain all of their permanent teeth during early adulthood. A small percentage has lost of all their upper or lower teeth (Kelly and Harvery, 1979). The loss of teeth is more likely to occur to women than to men during this period. There is a steady increase in decayed, missing or filled teeth during the years of clearly adulthood. The probability of experiencing periodical disease also increases during early adulthood, especially for meals, periodical disease is an inflammation of the guns and bone tissue surrounding teeth which results from poor or improper denial hygiene. Young adults become careless in caring for teeth with this condition often being the consequence. Periodontal disease can lead to loss of teeth if left uncorrected.

The Heart

As an individual grows older, the heart becomes more sluggish in its ability to pump blood efficiently. This partially explains why people are unable to sustain large work load for long periods of time as they grow older. The efficiency of the heart to pump large amounts of blood remains fairly stable during early adulthood.

The Lungs

The lungs change in their ability to function efficiently over the period of adulthood. Young adults are able to absorb about four and a half times as much oxygen as an older adult. The lungs play an important part in the body’s ability to exercise and work muscles properly. The decline in oxygen absorption partially can be traced to lowering of the amount of blood pumped through the lungs as well as to losses in the mechanical efficiency of the lungs as people grow older (Timiras, 19720. Through the adulthood years there is a decline in the amount of air breathed into the lungs. This difference is noticeable among many individuals at the age of forty.

The Skin

The skin begins to show some signs of again in early adulthood. These signs are the first wrinkles that appear in the facial area, particularly around the eyes (crow’s feet) and on the hands. The skin begins to loose its fine texture toward the end of the period. While acne and other related skin disorders are most frequent in adolescence, most individuals experience a recovery from these more frequency among young adults are fungus infections (dermatophytosis), especially of the feet and malignant or benign tumors. These conditions affect adult, males more than females, reflecting perhaps the effects of different working conditions and standards of hygiene as causes of these disorders (Johnson and Roberts, 1977).

Theoretical Approaches Concerning Adult Thought

Adult thought is very much different from childhood thought. There are three approaches to adult thought, these are as follows:

  • Piaget’s view and post-formal thought.
  • Warner schiae on adult thought
  • Robert Sternberg

We will discuss each of these in brief.

  1. Piaget’s views on post-formal thought results - Piaget held that cognitive progress from infancy through adolescence from a combination of maturation and experience. What happens, then, in an adult? Experience plays an especially important role in intellectual functioning. But the experiences of an adult  are different from and usually are broader than those of a child, whose world is defined largely by home and school. Because adults have such diverse experiences, it is very hard to generalize about the effects of experience on cognition in adults. Mature thinking is even more complex than the use of formal logic in Piaget’s stage of formal operations, which Piaget considered the highest level of thought. Thought in adulthood is flexible, open and adaptive in new ways that go beyond logic. It is sometimes referred to as post-formal thought. A shift occurs in mature thought: as a result, thinkers combine both the objective (rational, or logical, elements) and the subjective (concrete elements, or elements based on personal experience). This shift helps people take their own feelings and experiences into account (Labourie Vief, 1985,1986; Labourie – Vief & Hak8n – Larson, 1989). Mature thinkers personalize their reasoning using the fruits of their experience when they are called on to deal with ambiguous situations. Post-formal thought is also characterized by a shift from polarization (right versus wrong, logic versus emotion, mind versus body) to an integration of concepts.
  2. Warner Schaie. Conceive of cognitive development (i.e. thought) in adults as progressing through stages of five steps.

K. Warner Schaie (1977-78) who believes that intellectual development proceeds in relation to people’s recognition of what is meaningful and important in their own lives. The five stages of Schaie’s theory chart a series of transitions from “what I need to know (acquisition of skills in childhood and adolescence), through “how I should use what I know” (acquisition of skills in childhood and adolescence), through “how 1 should use what I know’ (integration of these skill in a practical framework), to “why I should know”. (a search for meaning and purpose that culminates in the “wisdom of old age”). According to Schaie, real-life experiences are important influences on this progression. The sequence of stages in Schaie’s moderl of cognitive development is as follows:

(i)Acquisitive stage (Childhood and adolescence). In the acquisitive stage, information and skills are learnt mainly for their own sake, without regard to the context, as a preparation for participation in society. Children and adolescents perform best of test that give them a chance to show what they can do, even if the specific tasks have no meaning in their own lives.

(ii)Achieving stage (late teens or early twenties to early thirties) In the achieving stage, people no longer acquire knowledge merely for its own sake but use what they know to become competent and independent. Now, they do best on tasks that are relevant to the life goals they have set for themselves.

(iii) Responsible stage (late thirties to early sixties). In the responsible stage, people are concerned with long-range gals and practical real-life problems that are likely to be associated with their responsibilities to others (like family members or employees).

(iv)Executive stage (thirties or forties through middle age). People in the executive stage are responsible for societal systems (like governmental or business concerns) rather than just family units; they need to integrate complex relationships on several levels.

(v)

Re-integrative stage (late adulthood). Older adults – who have let go of some involvement and responsibility and whose cognitive functioning may be limited by biological changes are more selective about what tasks they will expend efforts on. In this re-integrative stage, they think about the purpose of what they do and bother less with tasks that have no meaning for them.

3. Robert Sternberg has proposed three aspects of intelligence: componential (critical), experiential (insightful), and contextual (practical). The experiential and contextual aspects develop and become particularly important during adulthood.

(a)Componential element how efficiency people process and analyze information. The componential element is the critical aspect of intelligence. It tells people how to approach problems, how to go about solving them and how to monitor and evaluate the results. b) Experimental element how people approach novel and familiar tasks. The experiential element is the insightful aspect of intelligence. It allows people to compare new information with that they already know and to come up in new ways of putting facts together -in other words to think in original ways (as Einstein did. for example, when he developed his theory of relatively). Automatic performance of familiar operation (like recognizing words) facilitates insight, because it leaves the mind free to tackle unfamiliar tasks (like decoding new words).

(c)Contextual element how people deal with their environment. The contextual element is the practical “real-word” aspect of intelligence. It becomes increasingly valuable in adult life – as in selecting a place to live of a field or work. It involves the ability to size up a situation and decide what to do: adapt to it, change it, or find a new, more comfortable setting. Psychometric tests measures componential (critical) intelligence rather than experiential (insightful) or contextual (practical) intelligence. Since experiential and contextual intelligence are very important in adult life, psychometric tests are much less useful in gauging adult’s intelligence than in a gauging children’s. Early or young adulthood is the fullest, most individualistic, and at the same time, loneliest period of life (Havighurt, 1974). During this time tremendous pressures are brought to bear on individuals to “make a constructive place” for themselves in society. And yet the support system available for any person to accomplish this goal is few indeed. Havighurst has suggested that with the exception of the elderly, young adults receive less educative support to accomplish their developmental tasks (the prescriptions, obligations and responsibilities thought to be related to healthy adjustment) than any other age group.

Definition of Adult Maturity

Maturity refers to a sate that promotes physical and psychological well being. In most instances, the mature person possesses a well developed value system, an accurate self concept stable emotional behaviour, satisfying social relationships and intellectual insight. Coping with the demands of adulthood, mature individual is realistic in the assessment of future goals and ideals. According to White (1960) maturity implies like ability to a cope more successfully with life’s problems, increasing the effectiveness of our planning strategies, deepening our appreciation of the surroundings and expanding our resources for happiness.

Allport’s Seven Dimensions of Maturity

One of the more extensive published descriptions of maturity is that of Allport (1961), who postulates that maturity is an ongoing process best characterized by a series of attainments on the part of the individual. Each period of life has its share of obstacles that must be overcome road blocks that require the development of global formulation and decision making abilities. Methods for dealing with life’s failures and frustrations as well as accepting its triumphs and victories have to be devised if maturity is to be nurtured. Age in itself is not a guarantee of maturity. Allport has identified seven specific dimensions or criteria of maturity that manifest themselves during adulthood. These seven dimensions include:

  1. Extension of the self
  2. Relating warmly to others
  3. Emotional security
  4. Realistic perception
  5. Possession of skills and competencies.
  6. Knowledge of the self
  7. Establishing a unifying philosophy of life. We would discuss each of them in brief.

1.Extension of the self:

The first criterion of maturity, self extension, requires that individuals gradually extend their comprehension to encompass multiple facets of their environment. The sphere of the young child was primarily limited to the family, but over time the child becomes involved in various peer groups, in school activities and in clubs. Eventually, strong bonds develop with members of the opposite sex, and interest toward vocational, moral and civic responsibilities is generated. Each outlet provides the young adult with the opportunity to become involved in more meaningful person relationships and to fulfill the need of sharing new feelings and experiences with others (Henis and Tuner, 1976). While (1966) refers to

the foregoing process as the deepening of interests. In a series of case studies, he discovered most mature young adults tend to become engaged in vocational, athletic, or academic pursuit. Each requires the extension of the self and the ability to experience involvement of some sort. Yet like Allport, White maintains that merely being involved in something does not necessarily imply satisfaction or happiness. Maturity is measured by one’s active participation in an activity. Maturity implies movement away from a state in which interests are casual quickly dropped and pursued only from motive that do not become identified with the advancement of the interest or activity. True self-extension is a state in which a sense of reward comes from doing something for its own sake. In other words, maturity is promoted when the activity undertaken has true significance to the self.

2. Relating warmly to others.

All port’s second criterion of maturity is the ability to relate the self warmly to others. By this, Allport means the capacity to be intimate with as well as compassionate towards others. How does one develop the capacity for intimacy? One of the more widely accepted interpretations of an adult psychological growth has been provided by Erickson (1963). During early adulthood mature psychosocial development is measured by the successful resolution of the stage known as intimacy versus isolation. Prior to this early adulthood, the individual was in the midst of an identity crisis, a struggle that reached its peak during adolescence. Erickson stresses the idea that as a young adult the individual is motivated to fuse this newly established identity with that of others. In short, the young adult is ready for intimacy, which means not only committing the self to personal relationships but also nurturing the motivation to maintain them. Most adults satisfy intimacy through marriage. It is important to stress that intimate relationships other than sexual ones as possible. Individuals may develop strong bonds of intimacy in friendships that offer, among other features, mutuality, empathy and reciprocity.

3.Emotional security:

Although numerous dimensions of maturity can be grouped under this third category, Allport maintains that four qualities in particular are important

(a) Self acceptance

(b) emotional acceptance,

(c) frustration tolerance and confidence is self-expression. Self acceptance is the ability to acknowledge one’s self fully, particularly in terms one’s imperfections. Mature people realize that the) cannot perfect in every respect, yet they nevertheless seek to fulfill their own potential. Total self acceptance requires exploring and accepting one’s weaknesses. By mature emotional acceptance, people accept emotions as being part of the normal self. People acquiring this dimension of maturity do not allow emotion to rule their lives, yet at the same time they do not reject emotions as being alien in nature. Frustration tolerance is the capacity to continue functioning even during time of stress. To be able to handle life’s frustrations and still manage to carry on is a formidable goal. For maturity to develop, one must learn how to best deal with life’s frustrations and maintain a healthy life style. The final dimension of emotional maturity is confidence in self expression. Maturity in this respect implies spontaneity; one is aware of one’s own emotions, is not afraid of them, and has control over their expression. Immaturity conversely can manifest itself in a number of different ways, including timidity and shyness, emotional over reaction, or emotional under reaction.

4.Realistic Perception :

Allport’s fourth criterion of maturity is realistic perception. Quite simply, maturity in this sense means being able to keep in touch with reality, without distorting the environment to meet individual needs and purposes. Sometimes the complexities of events and situations combined with the ego defenses of the individual may produce a inaccurate interpretation of the environment. The mature mind is able to perceive the surroundings accurately. Allport is not implying that the mature person does not use any type of defense or coping mechanism. On the contrary, defense mechanisms become quite automatic for many of us and tend temporarily to alleviate anxiety and frustration. Allport’s point is that the overuse or mis-use-of such mechanisms usually distorts one’s perception of the surroundings.

5.Possession of skills and competencies :

Possessing some type of skill or competence represents Allport’s fifth dimension of maturity. Unless one possesses some basic skill, it is virtually impossible to nature the kind of security for maturity to develop. While the immature adolescent may argue, “I’, no good at anything”, mature adults strive to develop whatever skills they feel they possess. Furthermore, skilled individuals are driven by a need to express their competence through some type of activity. They identify with their work and display pride in the skills needed to produce the finished product. In this sense, task absorption and ego-relevant activities are important to physical and psychological wellbeing.

6.Knowledge of the self:

Knowledge of the self, or self objectification, is criterion number six. Most mature people possess a great deal of self-insight, of which many immature individuals have little. According to Allport, knowledge of the self involves three capacities; knowing what on can do, knowing what one cannot do, and knowing what one ought to do. While (1966) believes that knowledge and stabilization of the self is one of the most important growth trends of young adulthood. In general, White proposes that the stabilization process owed much to those enduring roles that are characteristics of adult life. More specifically, he states that as individuals modify their behavior in order to fulfill their roles as workers marriage partners, and parents, for example, their experience beings to accumulate more and more selectively. In this sense the stored up source of stability and ego identity emerge increasingly out of behavior within roles.

7.Establishing a unifying philosophy of life :

The final criterion or dimension of maturity outlined by Allport is the development of a unifying philosophy of life that embodies the concept of guiding purpose, ideals, needs, goals, and values. Since the mature human being is goal-seeking, such a synthesis enables him or tier to develop in intelligent theory of life and to work toward implementing it. Mature people tend to view goals from a balanced perspective and are able to cope with failure if these goals are not met.

Marriage

Most adults marry, usually for the first time in young adulthood. But people have been marrying at later and late ages. In 1988, the median ages of first-time bridegrooms was 25.9 and first-time brides, 23.6 years, compared with 24.7 and 22 years, respectively, in 1980 (US Bureau of the Census, 1988). Studies done from the 1950s found that married people were happier than singles. Either marriage brought happiness, or happy people tended to marry. In one study of 2000 adults around the country, for example, married men and women of all ages reported more satisfaction than people who were single, divorced or widowed. The happiest of all wee married people in their twenties with no children especially women. Young wives reported feeling much less stress after marriage, while young husband, although happy, said that they felt more stress (A Campbell, Converse & Rodgers, 1975). Apparently, marriage was still seen as an accomplishment and a source of security for a woman but as reasonability for man. Sex Differences in Marriage – Women and men feel differently about marriage in other respects. Women see marriage as a place to express and talk about emotions; they consider the sharing of confidence as measure of intimacy. Men however, define intimacy differently; they tend to express love through sex, giving practical help (like helping her with the household chores), doing things together, or just being together (L. Thompson & Walker, 1989). As a result, men often get more of what is important to them; since women do the things that matter to men. Many men do not feel comfortable talking about feelings – or even listening to their wives talk about theirs – and this leaves the wives feeling dissatisfied. The ability of marriage to bring happiness seems to be changing (Glenn, 1987). Although more married people, than people who have never married call themselves “very happy”, the gap has narrowed dramatically -among 25 to 39 year olds, from 31 percentage point in the early 1970s to 8 points in 1986. Apparently, never married people are happier today, while married people (especially women) are less happy. One possible reason is that some benefits or marriage are no longer confined to wedlock. Single people can get both sex and companionship outside of marriage and marriage is no longer the sole (or even the most reliable) source of security for women. Also, since most women now continue to work, marriage is likely to increase rather than decrease their stress. Marriage and Health – Marriage is a healthy state. Married people lend to be healthier than those who are separated, divorces or widowed (Anson, 1989). Married people have fewer disabilities or chronic conditions that limit their activities and when they go to the hospital, their stays are generally short. Married people live longer, too according to a study going back to 1940 in 16 industrial countries (Hu & Goldmna, 1990). Those who have never married are next healthiest group, followed by widowed people and then by people who are divorced or separated. Personality Factors in Martial Adjustment – The newly married couple not only has to adjust to new roles those of husband and a wife-but also to one another. Every person has a unique personality that influences the way he or she will approach and adjust to new situations – including marriage. Some personality characteristics enable an individual to adapt well to marriage and to build a stronger relationship. Whereas, others do not. Characteristics such as emotional maturity. Self-control, willingness to engage in self-disclosure, ability to demonstrate affection and consideration for others and the ability to demonstrate affection and consideration for others and the ability to demonstrate affection and consideration for others and the ability to handle frustration and anger combined with high self-esteem and flexibility all have been linked to marital satisfaction ( Stinnet & Walters, 1977). So too, has the ability to communicate openly and honesty with one’s spouse. Interestingly, many studies indicate that the beginning of marriage at least traditional marriage it is the husband’s personality traits rather than the wife’s that are more strongly related to late martial happiness (Barry 1970). Among the important factors are the husband’s stable male identity” which is, in turn, related to the happiness of his parent’s marriage and to his close attachment to his father. High socio-economic status and educational level in the husband are also correlated with martial success. Perhaps most important in traditional marriages are the eyes of the beholder that is, wife’s perception of the husband’s maturity and role enactment. The higher the wife rates here husband on emotional maturity and the closer he seems to come, in her eyes to fulfilling the culturally prescribed role of husband, the happier the marriage. However, in light of the increasing equality between the sexes and the movement away from traditional marriages, one may question whether this pattern will continue to exist in the future. Define love and discuss the theory of passionate love. Love can be defined as an emotional state involving attractions, sexual desire and concern about another person. Lover represents the most positive level of attraction. A close friendship turns into love when two people start viewing each other as potential sexual partners. Passionate love is one of the most important forms of love which has received a great deal of research attention. It is this type of love which is a topic of great concern, controversy and discussion among lay man as well as in most media like films, television and literature. It can be defined as an intense and often unrealistic emotional response to another person. Most of the recent theoretical and research interest has been centered on passionate love. This refer to an intense, sometimes overwhelming emotional state in which an individual thinks about his or her lover constantly want to spend as much time as possible with that person and is often unrealistic in judging the loved one (Murstein 1980).

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